The First Anniversary Approaches All Too Fast
This morning I listened to Melbourne FoxFM's breakfast show with Matt Tilley and Jo Stanley which was broadcasting from Kinglake.
Throughout the show they talked to people who'd faced the horror of February 7th last year. Matt and Jo are both parents. So it must have been hard for them to hear from people who'd lost partners and children during the horrific bushfires that day. You could hear it in their tone, how much it touched them on a deep level. It was hard to hear a father and husband describe surviving the ordeal and losing his wife and children that day, just metres from the safety of a dam.Last year, I got involved with Twitter working to help a niece in Gippsland who came within a hundred metres of danger that first day of the fires. I came out of that period with a family spread over four areas safe...but today I listened to men who'd similarly tried to do their best to save their loved ones, only to tragically lose them. They too had worked so hard, especially right there in the danger zone. They gave their guts worth. They made supreme efforts to try to beat the odds. Up in the worst-affected areas, there are some miraculous tales of survival against those odds. But the thing with fate is...the same amount of effort to save lives doesn't always end up with the same result. I'm a father myself. And I shed tears this morning listening to the gentleman in the example a few paragraphs above.I got an idea of what survivors' guilt must feel like.One item on the Matt and Jo show did raise an eyebrow when one person mentioned that there was an expectation of "moving on" from the events of last year. Excuse me for saying this, but it's ignorance to expect someone to move on in so quick a time from such horrific experiences.Healing from such experiences by the first anniversary is an impossibility. The first anniversary is a milestone in the recovery...and the first year after such losses is always the worst. Give these people at least five years to fully heal. Don't rush the natural healing process. Let them at least get through this first year before having expectations of them even beginning to start moving forward. Interestingly, these same people will not only eventually recover, they will probably go on to have a greater empathy for others in different disasters. They'll turn their worst experience eventually into a positive that helps people in later situations. If you've never lost anything major in your life, if you weren't affected even directly by February 7 last year...try and remember these people lost everything. They especially lost the most important thing, their loved ones. Try and realistically imagine how you'd be if you lost everything you held so dear, even in spite of your best efforts. Helping these people recover is better assisted by understanding the process of grieving and recovery.Getting past the first anniversary is the start.Related Articles:
